it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
