She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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