my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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