i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
