you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
