I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
