You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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