At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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