OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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