I'm eating all of the evidence.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
