found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
