Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
