I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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