now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
