I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
