This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
