Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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