I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
