and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
