Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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