You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
