mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
