He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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