my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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