I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
