I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
