i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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