I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
