I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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