I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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