Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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