That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
