Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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