Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
