Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
