goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
