I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
