YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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