What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
