I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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