sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
