she was so not down for the gang bang
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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