I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
