I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
