dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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