I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He? As in you personified your dick?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
