i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
it glows. i had to have it.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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