But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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