will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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