1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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